I have finally decided that now is the time to move onto Phase Two of my weight-loss journey. I wanted to be able to really enjoy the fruits of my labour after my OptiFast adventure. After my two weeks in Florida, I realized that I finally was ready to get back to the grind. I was able to enjoy the Hottest Place on Earth and it was all due to my weight loss. I have also started coaching behind the bench with Zack's summer hockey team.
It is going to be a long road, but having succeeded on such a large scale I've obtained the confidence in myself to believe that I can do anything. So, starting Tuesday, I will stringently begin to totally change my diet towards my new goals. And what are these goals you might be asking? Well, again I am staying away from numbers but I'm looking to go into a store and buy a t-shirt where there isn't an additional charge for bigger sizes. I want to buy the medium size camping chair, and I would like the option to bungee jump ( there is NO freaking chance I would do it - I mean I almost died on Space Mountain!! - but to be able to say that I could if I wanted would be awesome).
So Tuesday will be a big day in the Burmaster household as we do some grocery shopping to fill up the fridge. I'm real excited about making the jump back into losing weight, which means I will be ramping up the blogging again.
On to another topic; the Hike for Hospice 2011. As I've written about before my family is entering a 5K charity walk for the Bob Kemp Hospice where my mother-in-law spent her last days. It is a wonderful place whose staff are some of the kindest people I've ever met. It is my hope that you click on this link and sponsor my family. I'm not usually that keen about asking for money but any amount would be lovely. The walk is on June 18th and if you would like to walk with us, you can also sign up to be on our team through the link above. We are about a month away, so wish me luck!!
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Full Circle
As most of you know, I am in sunny Florida with my family. I am being told they are having a heat-wave down here, and make no mistakes, it is freaking hot!! The last time I ventured down this way was a little less than two years ago. I was at my biggest weight and the two weeks were unbearable!! There was no time when I wasn't covered in sweat and was I miserable the entire time. On one of our first days in the State we went to one of the Disney Parks and beyond the profuse sweating, my back and knees were killing me from walking around.
After that day at the park, I made the embarrassing decision to rent a scooter and make my way around the Disney Parks in one. It was humiliating. Here I was, a 38 yr-old man who had to rent a scooter because he was to fat to walk around "The Happiest Place on Earth"!! Add to that my inability to get on any rides with my kids and my depression level was over the top.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago and our arrival in the Sunshine State. I was still wearing pants and a long sleeve shirt from our 6am departure in North Carolina, and when we pulled up to our rented house, it was time to get changed. We brought in all of our luggage and food and everyone made a beeline to get appropriate attire. I threw on some shorts and immediately did what any man would do when they get to a rented house - make sure they have ESPN!!
Having calmed my worse fears, we decided to head out and grab some dinner and some groceries that we would need. When we got in the van, my wife remarked that I still had on my long sleeve and did I want to go change it. Being as I am massively lazy, I decided that I could bare it. It was 3pm and not only was I wearing a black long sleeve shirt, but I was not sweating!!
The true test would be our first venture to Disney, and on Sunday we went to Epcot. Now, I'm not a huge fan of Disney to begin with, but Epcot is boring as hell!! There were three rides and the rest was walking around!! The old Russ would have committed multiple counts of homicide, but other than sore feet because my shoes suck, I was able to go the whole day without having to wring out a sweat-drenched shirt or call a defense attorney!!
All-in-all, losing this weight has brought enormous clarity in to my life. It has allowed me to enjoy the major things as well as the simple, everyday things that come into one's life. Seems like I haven't got all "preachy" on you in awhile - some of you will argue that I haven't written anything in awhile.....I would have no retort for that - but if there is something out there that you haven't done or thought you couldn't do, just reach for it. There will be no happier moment than realizing that it was in you the whole time. Everything I've done over the last nine months has lead me to here, and it wasn't always sunshine and lollipops, but every failure was another chance to prove to myself who I really was. You wouldn't be reading this if there wasn't a fire in you - other people know it's there; it's time for you to recognize it too!!
Love Russ
After that day at the park, I made the embarrassing decision to rent a scooter and make my way around the Disney Parks in one. It was humiliating. Here I was, a 38 yr-old man who had to rent a scooter because he was to fat to walk around "The Happiest Place on Earth"!! Add to that my inability to get on any rides with my kids and my depression level was over the top.
Fast forward to a couple of days ago and our arrival in the Sunshine State. I was still wearing pants and a long sleeve shirt from our 6am departure in North Carolina, and when we pulled up to our rented house, it was time to get changed. We brought in all of our luggage and food and everyone made a beeline to get appropriate attire. I threw on some shorts and immediately did what any man would do when they get to a rented house - make sure they have ESPN!!
Having calmed my worse fears, we decided to head out and grab some dinner and some groceries that we would need. When we got in the van, my wife remarked that I still had on my long sleeve and did I want to go change it. Being as I am massively lazy, I decided that I could bare it. It was 3pm and not only was I wearing a black long sleeve shirt, but I was not sweating!!
The true test would be our first venture to Disney, and on Sunday we went to Epcot. Now, I'm not a huge fan of Disney to begin with, but Epcot is boring as hell!! There were three rides and the rest was walking around!! The old Russ would have committed multiple counts of homicide, but other than sore feet because my shoes suck, I was able to go the whole day without having to wring out a sweat-drenched shirt or call a defense attorney!!
All-in-all, losing this weight has brought enormous clarity in to my life. It has allowed me to enjoy the major things as well as the simple, everyday things that come into one's life. Seems like I haven't got all "preachy" on you in awhile - some of you will argue that I haven't written anything in awhile.....I would have no retort for that - but if there is something out there that you haven't done or thought you couldn't do, just reach for it. There will be no happier moment than realizing that it was in you the whole time. Everything I've done over the last nine months has lead me to here, and it wasn't always sunshine and lollipops, but every failure was another chance to prove to myself who I really was. You wouldn't be reading this if there wasn't a fire in you - other people know it's there; it's time for you to recognize it too!!
Love Russ
Monday, April 25, 2011
When my journey began, I had no idea where it would take me. I had assumed the likelihood of failure would be astronomical. I had only known failure and this seemed like one more check on my board. Yet, I wanted the best chance at success in the OptiFast program, so I made some goals. I decided not to have a number goal because I had no idea what this program could do. As the weeks went on, I came to realize that I was going to succeed.
For the past few years I have had the opportunity to go to the Air Canada Centre to see the Toronto Raptors play. Zack loves going down there, and being able to take him always made me feel like a pretty cool dad. The last few times I took him it was brutal. I came home with massive bruises on my hips because I was to big for the seats. Well, on April 14th I took Zack to see the Raptors play the New Jersey Nets and we had a blast!! I fit in the seat and the stairs were a cinch to get up and down.
On Good Friday, I attend a hike with some great friends. I have been going for the last 10 years and it is a great time. The past couple of years have been quite hard. During the walk into the woods, I would need to stop more than a few times as my back and knees would be in agony. By the time we hit the spot where we would start our fire and enjoy conversation - and maybe one or two cold ones - I would be a sweaty mess. I can happily report that this year was just the opposite!! I made it back and actually remarked that I could not believe how close the area seemed this year.
The last time my family went to Florida, it was an unmitigated disaster. Within five minutes of being at our first park, I could barely walk. It was unbearably hot, I could not get on a ride with my kids and standing seemed like the most impossible task!! With many days left to spend at the parks, my options seemed limited. In one of the lowest moments of my life, I rented a scooter to survive Disney. The humiliation was all self-made, but it was there nonetheless. In less than two weeks I will be making my way to Disney yet again - you can be sure that I will be saving some money by not renting a scooter this year!!
These were the goals I laid out for myself....tangible, real rewards. I was asked a few times on the hike if I'm done trying to lose weight. It's something I've tried to come to grips with. What will be my next move? I have come to realize that I hit all the goals that I originally set out for myself and am truly happy. Obviously, I need new goals but it will take some time to figure out what those should be. I am still exercising and working on a better diet. The journey has taken me to so many places and taught me so much.
The latest thing it has taught me is that this journey will be for the rest of my life. Thankfully, it will never be as hard as those first 12 weeks.
For the past few years I have had the opportunity to go to the Air Canada Centre to see the Toronto Raptors play. Zack loves going down there, and being able to take him always made me feel like a pretty cool dad. The last few times I took him it was brutal. I came home with massive bruises on my hips because I was to big for the seats. Well, on April 14th I took Zack to see the Raptors play the New Jersey Nets and we had a blast!! I fit in the seat and the stairs were a cinch to get up and down.
On Good Friday, I attend a hike with some great friends. I have been going for the last 10 years and it is a great time. The past couple of years have been quite hard. During the walk into the woods, I would need to stop more than a few times as my back and knees would be in agony. By the time we hit the spot where we would start our fire and enjoy conversation - and maybe one or two cold ones - I would be a sweaty mess. I can happily report that this year was just the opposite!! I made it back and actually remarked that I could not believe how close the area seemed this year.
The last time my family went to Florida, it was an unmitigated disaster. Within five minutes of being at our first park, I could barely walk. It was unbearably hot, I could not get on a ride with my kids and standing seemed like the most impossible task!! With many days left to spend at the parks, my options seemed limited. In one of the lowest moments of my life, I rented a scooter to survive Disney. The humiliation was all self-made, but it was there nonetheless. In less than two weeks I will be making my way to Disney yet again - you can be sure that I will be saving some money by not renting a scooter this year!!
These were the goals I laid out for myself....tangible, real rewards. I was asked a few times on the hike if I'm done trying to lose weight. It's something I've tried to come to grips with. What will be my next move? I have come to realize that I hit all the goals that I originally set out for myself and am truly happy. Obviously, I need new goals but it will take some time to figure out what those should be. I am still exercising and working on a better diet. The journey has taken me to so many places and taught me so much.
The latest thing it has taught me is that this journey will be for the rest of my life. Thankfully, it will never be as hard as those first 12 weeks.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Dialing up the Crazy
It seems impossible but Zack's hockey has not ended yet. Last Thursday our family left for Buffalo for the Mount Hamilton Select Blues' big tournament away. These tournaments are a tremendous weekend, especially for the kids who get to stay up late, play mini-stick tournaments with their teammates and swim in the pool for hours on end.
In the land of the Buffalo chicken wing you can be sure that I did not spend a great deal of time worrying about food choices. There is something about hockey parents away on a tournament that turns them back into college kids. This may sum it all up for you, but Ang was doing shots!!! Seriously!! The first night we were going to head out for food but a few families were delayed. When they showed up we ordered some pizza and wings for everyone and enjoyed some drinks.
I could give you the long version and break down the Friday and Saturday menu, or I can just tell you to re-read the previous paragraph twice as it was pretty much the same thing for three days!! It was a great time getting to know all the parents on the team and I know we have made some great friends. Most of those parents are moving up to the next level but we are really hoping their younger kids make the team next year so we can have another great year, just starting it earlier.
So I'm sure your asking, "Why is Russ talking pizza, wings and loads of beer in a weight-loss blog?" Well, if you remember way back in the beginning I told you one of the big things I wanted out of this journey. I always wanted to be able to enjoy some of the great parties that come into my life, but when that party was over be able to turn off that mode and walk right back into a healthy mode. For me, the party used to never end. Prior to August, after this kind of weekend I would have come home and had pizza, fast food and junk everyday for weeks on end.
On Tuesday morning I tied up my running shoes and walked my 2.5 km to the gym, did my workout, and walked the 2.5 km back to the house. When I came back into the house I knew that I was never going back to the old me. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that you need to find you're own version of healthy. Whatever you do, it has to work for you. It can't be something that is dictated to you, but something that can enrich your life. I know my way is going to take a lot longer to get down to a "goal" weight than someone else's, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
In the land of the Buffalo chicken wing you can be sure that I did not spend a great deal of time worrying about food choices. There is something about hockey parents away on a tournament that turns them back into college kids. This may sum it all up for you, but Ang was doing shots!!! Seriously!! The first night we were going to head out for food but a few families were delayed. When they showed up we ordered some pizza and wings for everyone and enjoyed some drinks.
I could give you the long version and break down the Friday and Saturday menu, or I can just tell you to re-read the previous paragraph twice as it was pretty much the same thing for three days!! It was a great time getting to know all the parents on the team and I know we have made some great friends. Most of those parents are moving up to the next level but we are really hoping their younger kids make the team next year so we can have another great year, just starting it earlier.
So I'm sure your asking, "Why is Russ talking pizza, wings and loads of beer in a weight-loss blog?" Well, if you remember way back in the beginning I told you one of the big things I wanted out of this journey. I always wanted to be able to enjoy some of the great parties that come into my life, but when that party was over be able to turn off that mode and walk right back into a healthy mode. For me, the party used to never end. Prior to August, after this kind of weekend I would have come home and had pizza, fast food and junk everyday for weeks on end.
On Tuesday morning I tied up my running shoes and walked my 2.5 km to the gym, did my workout, and walked the 2.5 km back to the house. When I came back into the house I knew that I was never going back to the old me. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that you need to find you're own version of healthy. Whatever you do, it has to work for you. It can't be something that is dictated to you, but something that can enrich your life. I know my way is going to take a lot longer to get down to a "goal" weight than someone else's, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Killing Two Birds.....
I had made the decision that I would enter a 5k this year. In all actuality, I had no clue what that meant. I knew that there were healthy, crazy people who think it's all kinds of fun to run five kilometres for the heck of it. I didn't understand what it meant to them until I asked a few people what they got out of them. The over-whelming response was the sense of accomplishment they felt when it was over.
I did some investigating about entering a 5k - by that I mean I asked a friend to do all the work. Thanks Tammy!! - and found some interesting ideas. I finally decided on what I was going to enter after receiving some info from my wife. The hospice where Ang's mom received such amazing care is having a charitable walk in June. I will be entering with my wife and both of our kids.
I created a Facebook event in the hopes of having some friends join us on this hike. As a family, we have rarely done anything like this. There is one notable exception; we went camping last summer and there were some great trails. Everybody we were with had decided on doing the 5k trail and I wanted to be a part of the group. This was about a month before I was to start the Optifast and had made the decision to start some changes. To say this hike did not go well for me would be an understatement.
Before the first km was passed, I was cooked!! My back was on fire and my knees were about to explode. Well, at least I only had four left. The scenery was beautiful, the kids were having a blast and I prayed that it would all end. There was no part of my body that was not in pain. When it was finished, I found a picnic table to sit on, and it was in that moment I realized how far I needed to go. I was so embarrassed by what happened that day that I never thought it could get better...how wrong was I?
So, I will be entering the walk and any and all are welcome to join us. I would love to have a large contingent with us at Confederation Park and see if we can't raise some serious funds for a great place.
I did some investigating about entering a 5k - by that I mean I asked a friend to do all the work. Thanks Tammy!! - and found some interesting ideas. I finally decided on what I was going to enter after receiving some info from my wife. The hospice where Ang's mom received such amazing care is having a charitable walk in June. I will be entering with my wife and both of our kids.
I created a Facebook event in the hopes of having some friends join us on this hike. As a family, we have rarely done anything like this. There is one notable exception; we went camping last summer and there were some great trails. Everybody we were with had decided on doing the 5k trail and I wanted to be a part of the group. This was about a month before I was to start the Optifast and had made the decision to start some changes. To say this hike did not go well for me would be an understatement.
Before the first km was passed, I was cooked!! My back was on fire and my knees were about to explode. Well, at least I only had four left. The scenery was beautiful, the kids were having a blast and I prayed that it would all end. There was no part of my body that was not in pain. When it was finished, I found a picnic table to sit on, and it was in that moment I realized how far I needed to go. I was so embarrassed by what happened that day that I never thought it could get better...how wrong was I?
So, I will be entering the walk and any and all are welcome to join us. I would love to have a large contingent with us at Confederation Park and see if we can't raise some serious funds for a great place.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
A Trip Down Memory Lane
My journey has brought me to so many new places and experiences, that every now and then it's cathartic to be reminded just how far I've come. St Patrick's Day was this past Thursday which also coincided with the first day of the NCAA Basketball Tournament - if you think I'm calling those play-in games Round 1 you're crazy!! Ever since I was in college I would watch those Thursday and Friday games with buddies and have a great time. I wasn't able to round anyone up for the tournament but I did head downtown for some drinks with a couple friends to exert my inner-Irish.
The guys I went with are the two guys I do my annual Good Friday Hike/walk into the woods, drink a bunch of beer, go to someone's house and drink more, with. I don't see these guys as much as I'd like to during the year - busy lives and all that crap - but we always have a great time. We got caught up on families and work and talk drifted to my weight loss and all the resulting changes.
While the Hike is truly about getting together with friends and enjoying a few beers, there is an actual walking element. We talked about how I had to stop numerous times last year and even had to get Zack to carry my knapsack (it's a fathers and kids hike). By the time I got back to our spot I was sweating profusely and could hardly catch my breath....it was really bad. This thing was barely 3km and I couldn't do it and this was less than a year ago.
We stayed at that downtown pub for awhile and headed to another one which was a quick, short walk - which reminded me of another bar-to-bar short walk not that long ago. I was in Toronto with my brother and some of our Barrie friends. Rather than jump in a cab we decided to walk to the next bar on our list. While all the guys were getting ready to go, I started to sweat and freak out - I knew there was no way in hell I was making this short walk without needing a shirt change and a shower.
Well, true to form, five minutes into the jaunt I was sweating like Mike Tyson in a spelling bee. I must have stopped three or four times before making it there and the level of embarrassment was of the charts. I can tell these stories now, only because I'm far enough removed and can walk a fair distance without needing to stop repeatedly!!
It was a sobering - not literally sobering, as I was quite proficient with the green beer that evening!! - trot down memory lane to recall just how horrible my life was, not that long ago. The worst part is that there are so many stories like this. Our family vacation to Florida, our week away in Mexico, our summer camping trips, all of them could have been so much better if I'd made my journey a long time ago. I don't dwell on these kinds of thoughts as much as I would have even just a year ago, but it's ok to think about where I was and really fight to never go there again.
The guys I went with are the two guys I do my annual Good Friday Hike/walk into the woods, drink a bunch of beer, go to someone's house and drink more, with. I don't see these guys as much as I'd like to during the year - busy lives and all that crap - but we always have a great time. We got caught up on families and work and talk drifted to my weight loss and all the resulting changes.
While the Hike is truly about getting together with friends and enjoying a few beers, there is an actual walking element. We talked about how I had to stop numerous times last year and even had to get Zack to carry my knapsack (it's a fathers and kids hike). By the time I got back to our spot I was sweating profusely and could hardly catch my breath....it was really bad. This thing was barely 3km and I couldn't do it and this was less than a year ago.
We stayed at that downtown pub for awhile and headed to another one which was a quick, short walk - which reminded me of another bar-to-bar short walk not that long ago. I was in Toronto with my brother and some of our Barrie friends. Rather than jump in a cab we decided to walk to the next bar on our list. While all the guys were getting ready to go, I started to sweat and freak out - I knew there was no way in hell I was making this short walk without needing a shirt change and a shower.
Well, true to form, five minutes into the jaunt I was sweating like Mike Tyson in a spelling bee. I must have stopped three or four times before making it there and the level of embarrassment was of the charts. I can tell these stories now, only because I'm far enough removed and can walk a fair distance without needing to stop repeatedly!!
It was a sobering - not literally sobering, as I was quite proficient with the green beer that evening!! - trot down memory lane to recall just how horrible my life was, not that long ago. The worst part is that there are so many stories like this. Our family vacation to Florida, our week away in Mexico, our summer camping trips, all of them could have been so much better if I'd made my journey a long time ago. I don't dwell on these kinds of thoughts as much as I would have even just a year ago, but it's ok to think about where I was and really fight to never go there again.
Monday, March 14, 2011
I'm Going to be a Trainer
As most of you know, Zack plays hockey and football. As his Dad, I am always talking to him about how he played and he always asks me what he can do to get better. HBO had a great series called Capitals/Penguins 24/7 in which cameras followed both teams around leading up to their outdoor game on New Year's Day. In one of the scenes, Penguins coach Dan Bylsma could be seen grading each one of his players out of five after a game. Zack saw him do this and asked Ang and I to do that after each house league and Select game.
On many occasions Zack has asked me to help and be a coach on his team. There were many opportunities to join a few friends on coaching staffs at the arena but I was too embarrassed to do it. Mountain Arena, where Zack plays, has a free course for all it's trainers so they are better prepared to help any kids that get hurt on the ice. This would have been a great opportunity for me to get behind the bench with a few buddies, but more importantly, my son would have been excited to have me back there.
I had always turned down these offers because of my weight. I could not fathom having to walk across the ice to a hurt kid and potentially fall on the way. How would I get up? Would the other team's trainer have to come out to help my big ass up? How would I get to one knee to help the kid if I even made it over there? This people, is a quick gateway into the mind of a fat guy. Every choice I made was based upon whether I thought I could do it, and as I've mentioned before, my self esteem was pretty low, so you can guess how many fun things I skipped out in, just in case.
This coming up year will be a little different. I was asked if I wanted to be a trainer with a friend who was going to coach and I quickly snapped up the opportunity. I guy whose lost over 110 lbs doesn't hide behind fear and fat anymore. A guy who has walked/run 5km's regularly, doesn't shy away from a little walk across the ice. A guy who started this journey so he could have a better life and participate more in the lives of his beautiful children will tell you that this was what it was all about....
On many occasions Zack has asked me to help and be a coach on his team. There were many opportunities to join a few friends on coaching staffs at the arena but I was too embarrassed to do it. Mountain Arena, where Zack plays, has a free course for all it's trainers so they are better prepared to help any kids that get hurt on the ice. This would have been a great opportunity for me to get behind the bench with a few buddies, but more importantly, my son would have been excited to have me back there.
I had always turned down these offers because of my weight. I could not fathom having to walk across the ice to a hurt kid and potentially fall on the way. How would I get up? Would the other team's trainer have to come out to help my big ass up? How would I get to one knee to help the kid if I even made it over there? This people, is a quick gateway into the mind of a fat guy. Every choice I made was based upon whether I thought I could do it, and as I've mentioned before, my self esteem was pretty low, so you can guess how many fun things I skipped out in, just in case.
This coming up year will be a little different. I was asked if I wanted to be a trainer with a friend who was going to coach and I quickly snapped up the opportunity. I guy whose lost over 110 lbs doesn't hide behind fear and fat anymore. A guy who has walked/run 5km's regularly, doesn't shy away from a little walk across the ice. A guy who started this journey so he could have a better life and participate more in the lives of his beautiful children will tell you that this was what it was all about....
Monday, March 7, 2011
It's funny how I see someone I haven't seen in awhile and they are shocked by my appearance. Having been getting used to my smaller self for months now, when I have the opportunity to talk to someone who has no idea what I've done, it's quite invigorating. I used to always joke that I was the go-to-guy on questions about drinking and eating.
During my chat Sunday night at Zack's hockey practice, I became a source of info for someone in regards to weight loss, and weight loss tips. Understand that in no way do I think I have anywhere near the info necessary to properly guide anyone, but to be able to give him info that he found helpful gave me a pretty good feeling. While we were chatting he pulled out his smart phone and began looking up "swaps" that he could make to see how tough it would be to cut 500 cals/day to lose one pound for a week. Suffice to say, he was able to cut over 500 cals and he didn't even make any dinner changes.
The 5K training has resumed outside with a nice 6K walk to the bank. I am really starting to realize I enjoy walking/running outside way more than on a treadmill. Having another helping of snow has made it difficult to get my walk into the gym, but I know it won't last. Having the gym be almost 6K roundtrip is a great bonus but there are not sidewalks the whole way there so the mud on my shoes makes it less than enjoyable right now.
So it's another week in the books and as always there were successes and some failures. Life is always going to be an up and down adventure but you will learn everything you need to know about yourself by how you come back from the downs than by how you enjoy the ups...although the ups can be pretty awesome.
During my chat Sunday night at Zack's hockey practice, I became a source of info for someone in regards to weight loss, and weight loss tips. Understand that in no way do I think I have anywhere near the info necessary to properly guide anyone, but to be able to give him info that he found helpful gave me a pretty good feeling. While we were chatting he pulled out his smart phone and began looking up "swaps" that he could make to see how tough it would be to cut 500 cals/day to lose one pound for a week. Suffice to say, he was able to cut over 500 cals and he didn't even make any dinner changes.
The 5K training has resumed outside with a nice 6K walk to the bank. I am really starting to realize I enjoy walking/running outside way more than on a treadmill. Having another helping of snow has made it difficult to get my walk into the gym, but I know it won't last. Having the gym be almost 6K roundtrip is a great bonus but there are not sidewalks the whole way there so the mud on my shoes makes it less than enjoyable right now.
So it's another week in the books and as always there were successes and some failures. Life is always going to be an up and down adventure but you will learn everything you need to know about yourself by how you come back from the downs than by how you enjoy the ups...although the ups can be pretty awesome.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Where Ya Been?
Has it really been two weeks since I've written anything? What the hell have I been doing? Well, not going to the gym is a quick answer. Before this goes any further, I will say that I have really over-hauled my diet in the last week - The Blues Fundraiser Dance not-withstanding!! That night got sideways in a hurry....I am, however, a phenomenal dancer and my weight-loss allowed me to stay out there longer AND with a drier shirt!! - and after a trip back to the gym I was able to weigh myself in at 340.5lbs. All this means I have managed to maintain my weight for the last six weeks.
What does all this mean? Is this something to be excited about, or should I be disappointed that I didn't lose weight? I have not missed out on anything in the last 45 days. I've had cake at birthday parties, treats with the kids, drinks with friends and all the while I've managed to keep my weight. I haven't had a fast-food burger in at least two weeks - major accomplishment in the Burmaster household!! - but I have had a salad for lunch, everyday during those two weeks.
I've also been adding some salad before dinner to cut down on how much food I need to put on my plate. As I learned, human beings lose weight through diet, not exercise. One pound is equal to 3500 cals. As a big guy a good workout will burn a lot of calories. I was on the treadmill for 45 mins this morning and it burned 575 cals. I would need to do that six times to LOSE ONE POUND!!! Conversely, it is extremely simple to find 500 cals/day to take out of your diet. Switch the cream in your coffee to milk, look for low cal versions of your favourite products or leaner cuts of meat. Switch from 2% to 1% milk, and other small, minor changes can help you cut out 500 calories/day, helping you lose one pound for the week.
All of these changes are easily accomplished and it's in your grasp. I am getting back into the game, although, I don't think I ever left. I wasn't as aggressive as I could have been, but it seems like I've learned enough to keep myself afloat.
What does all this mean? Is this something to be excited about, or should I be disappointed that I didn't lose weight? I have not missed out on anything in the last 45 days. I've had cake at birthday parties, treats with the kids, drinks with friends and all the while I've managed to keep my weight. I haven't had a fast-food burger in at least two weeks - major accomplishment in the Burmaster household!! - but I have had a salad for lunch, everyday during those two weeks.
I've also been adding some salad before dinner to cut down on how much food I need to put on my plate. As I learned, human beings lose weight through diet, not exercise. One pound is equal to 3500 cals. As a big guy a good workout will burn a lot of calories. I was on the treadmill for 45 mins this morning and it burned 575 cals. I would need to do that six times to LOSE ONE POUND!!! Conversely, it is extremely simple to find 500 cals/day to take out of your diet. Switch the cream in your coffee to milk, look for low cal versions of your favourite products or leaner cuts of meat. Switch from 2% to 1% milk, and other small, minor changes can help you cut out 500 calories/day, helping you lose one pound for the week.
All of these changes are easily accomplished and it's in your grasp. I am getting back into the game, although, I don't think I ever left. I wasn't as aggressive as I could have been, but it seems like I've learned enough to keep myself afloat.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Valentine's Day
I want to take some time to thank everyone who sent some words of encouragement. They definitely mean a lot to me. There seems to be an inner clash of the old Russ and new Russ, kind of like George Costanza and his world's colliding - although my clash is fat Russ and less fat Russ, but I get to put a really funny clip in here!! Everyday is a battle to make good decisions and following through feels like an impossible task, mostly because my focus has widened too much.
When I started the journey, by week 3 I realized that I had begun to see each shake as a small battle, and I would try and win that battle and not think about nine more weeks of four shakes per day. It was a daunting task and thinking about having almost 200 shakes left would have ended me right there. Now that I'm back on food, I am spending way too much time thinking about the next six months instead of devoting all my energy into making a great dinner choice. I'm not the greatest planner - in contrast my wife has filled TWO notebook pads with multiple itineraries for our trip to Florida....of course it will be fun!! On May 9th, from 3:46-5:18 miscellaneous fun is penciled in....I'm only half-kidding by the way; she's crazy!! - so being that far ahead completely messes me up, so back to the basics for me.
As you no doubt are aware - and if I am breaking new ground here, you are screwed!! - Valentines day is Monday. As a man who will be married for 16 years in May these are always tricky days. My wife and I rarely buy presents for each other anymore - mostly because I am awesome at it, and her, not so much!! - but we are going to head to see a movie on Tuesday in the afternoon while the kids are at school.
As one of the driving forces behind my desire to lose weight, there-by living a longer, healthier life, my wife has been in my corner from Day One. With subtle reminders and small admonishments, her love and support have been front and centre in my race to a new (old) me. Sometimes it may seem like I am not the most appreciative guy in the world. Also, I am pretty sure that I have given her the greatest gift I could ever think of - I DO NOT SNORE ANYMORE!!! Top that.
When I started the journey, by week 3 I realized that I had begun to see each shake as a small battle, and I would try and win that battle and not think about nine more weeks of four shakes per day. It was a daunting task and thinking about having almost 200 shakes left would have ended me right there. Now that I'm back on food, I am spending way too much time thinking about the next six months instead of devoting all my energy into making a great dinner choice. I'm not the greatest planner - in contrast my wife has filled TWO notebook pads with multiple itineraries for our trip to Florida....of course it will be fun!! On May 9th, from 3:46-5:18 miscellaneous fun is penciled in....I'm only half-kidding by the way; she's crazy!! - so being that far ahead completely messes me up, so back to the basics for me.
As you no doubt are aware - and if I am breaking new ground here, you are screwed!! - Valentines day is Monday. As a man who will be married for 16 years in May these are always tricky days. My wife and I rarely buy presents for each other anymore - mostly because I am awesome at it, and her, not so much!! - but we are going to head to see a movie on Tuesday in the afternoon while the kids are at school.
As one of the driving forces behind my desire to lose weight, there-by living a longer, healthier life, my wife has been in my corner from Day One. With subtle reminders and small admonishments, her love and support have been front and centre in my race to a new (old) me. Sometimes it may seem like I am not the most appreciative guy in the world. Also, I am pretty sure that I have given her the greatest gift I could ever think of - I DO NOT SNORE ANYMORE!!! Top that.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Hiding in Plain Sight
There was a time, not that long ago, when I thought drinking the OptiFast shakes for 12 weeks was going to be the hardest thing I would ever do. I was starting a program that would require discipline and perseverance that I hadn't shown in over 20 years. For those 12 weeks, I continually surprised myself by making it through each day. I had tremendous results and began to see myself in a different light. There was no better feeling than putting in a full effort and being successful.
Which brings me to today. For the past two months I haven't lost any weight; in fact I've gained about six lbs back. Coming back to food is now officially the hardest thing I will ever do - until the next hardest thing I will ever do - and there is no easy answers. I have all the knowledge I could ever need but my problem is I am not always putting it to use.
My mental state is significantly better than it was in August so I truly believe that with some renewed effort I can get back on track. All my major motivators are still intact and I have all the proof that I can do what needs to be done. This blog started as a way for me to tell my friends that I was taking my health serious for the first time in a very long time. It blossomed into an honest account of how things went for me on a per-week basis. No matter what happened I always wanted to be up front with everything that was going on.
So I write to you all today to say that my struggle has become considerably more difficult. By no means am I giving up or going to offer any excuses. I can do better and the only way for it to happen is through a concerted effort. Everyday, every meal, is another opportunity to go where I want to go. I have never had any illusions about giving up everything I like; I have always been honest about that. Now is the time to go with a little more moderation, a little more exercise, and a lot more motivation.
Which brings me to today. For the past two months I haven't lost any weight; in fact I've gained about six lbs back. Coming back to food is now officially the hardest thing I will ever do - until the next hardest thing I will ever do - and there is no easy answers. I have all the knowledge I could ever need but my problem is I am not always putting it to use.
My mental state is significantly better than it was in August so I truly believe that with some renewed effort I can get back on track. All my major motivators are still intact and I have all the proof that I can do what needs to be done. This blog started as a way for me to tell my friends that I was taking my health serious for the first time in a very long time. It blossomed into an honest account of how things went for me on a per-week basis. No matter what happened I always wanted to be up front with everything that was going on.
So I write to you all today to say that my struggle has become considerably more difficult. By no means am I giving up or going to offer any excuses. I can do better and the only way for it to happen is through a concerted effort. Everyday, every meal, is another opportunity to go where I want to go. I have never had any illusions about giving up everything I like; I have always been honest about that. Now is the time to go with a little more moderation, a little more exercise, and a lot more motivation.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Snow Day and No Food
My life isn't completely consumed with losing weight. I go to work and ferry my kids all over the place just like everyone else. Fitting in all the new changes has required some extra work on my part. For that matter my family as well. There are days when a quick trip for fast food would speed the process of getting to two different arenas - and don't get confused, it still happens some of the time - but we are trying to use the slow cooker more often.
As a family, we are not great planners and this lack of planning is what is our undoing. Shopping to a meal plan will always mean that there will be something nutritious to eat. When we do this right it is a healthy eating day; when we don't, well, we hunt for the pizza menus!!
Which brings me to today. As most of you know, we received a decent amount of snow in Hamilton today. The street we live on won't snow a snow plow for at least two days so getting out of our driveway will be a challenge. As we did not do any grocery shopping this week, it will be a day filled with fending for yourself. Ang and I made our way down to the freezer to do some hunting but it was a bit sketchy; although, Ang was able to procure a chocolate Easter bunny!!
Obviously there is no way I'm making it to the gym so shoveling the drive-way will have to do....seeing as I'll probably be doing it more than once, my arms should be sufficiently "Popeye'd" by the end of the day. I wonder how many times you have to walk to the end of the driveway to constitute 5k.....yeah, that's probably unrealistic.
As a family, we are not great planners and this lack of planning is what is our undoing. Shopping to a meal plan will always mean that there will be something nutritious to eat. When we do this right it is a healthy eating day; when we don't, well, we hunt for the pizza menus!!
Which brings me to today. As most of you know, we received a decent amount of snow in Hamilton today. The street we live on won't snow a snow plow for at least two days so getting out of our driveway will be a challenge. As we did not do any grocery shopping this week, it will be a day filled with fending for yourself. Ang and I made our way down to the freezer to do some hunting but it was a bit sketchy; although, Ang was able to procure a chocolate Easter bunny!!
Obviously there is no way I'm making it to the gym so shoveling the drive-way will have to do....seeing as I'll probably be doing it more than once, my arms should be sufficiently "Popeye'd" by the end of the day. I wonder how many times you have to walk to the end of the driveway to constitute 5k.....yeah, that's probably unrealistic.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Super Party in One Week
Is there anything better than chili-dogs, beer and football? Sure, some of you will say commercials - seriously?!?! - but next Sunday is one of the best sports-themed parties of the year. I have had some epic Super Bowl Sunday's - the road outside Eric and Michelle's is still not the same - and this year will be no different. Well, maybe a bit different.
There will be no need to start drinking at noon - in fact, plans are being put in motion to take the kids out before the festivities for some fun in the snow. The other big thing will be to make sure I eat something before heading over. As it stands right now, we are ordering some pizzas and everyone is supposed to bring one snack. The question I have for you is, what is your tastiest, healthiest, snack? Now remember, this is a Super Bowl party, so don't give some tofu, foofy thing - I can't get laughed out of the place!!
As far as the game goes, gimme Steelers, 27-23 - my head will explode if Aaron Rodgers is a Super Bowl champ!!
There will be no need to start drinking at noon - in fact, plans are being put in motion to take the kids out before the festivities for some fun in the snow. The other big thing will be to make sure I eat something before heading over. As it stands right now, we are ordering some pizzas and everyone is supposed to bring one snack. The question I have for you is, what is your tastiest, healthiest, snack? Now remember, this is a Super Bowl party, so don't give some tofu, foofy thing - I can't get laughed out of the place!!
As far as the game goes, gimme Steelers, 27-23 - my head will explode if Aaron Rodgers is a Super Bowl champ!!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Managing my Life
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt
Today we spent the hour of our class talking about how you manage your moods and dealing with the ups and downs of everyday life. Anytime something bad happened to me, I used that as an opportunity to feel bad for myself, which would generally be followed up with some combination of bad food. There is a downward spiral that was created and would lead to more food, which made me feel worse about myself, which made me eat more and on it went.
As I've mentioned before, I really see things on a different level now. I can recognize that good things actually do happen to me. The quote at the top rings so true for me because I had a low opinion of myself and assumed everyone else did too. The human psyche is a wonderful thing. Having some small success at the weight-loss thing has transferred to so many other areas of my life. I'm more confident now - hell I said I was going to enter a 5k and started doing them on the treadmill!! - and I'm generally more positive as well.
Learning to forgive yourself can be a grueling process and it means you really end up taking a hard look at yourself and what you've become. Many times I would look at people and think how lucky they were that their weight was something they never had to worry about. There is another quote that really puts that into perspective for me; "When the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it may be that they take better care of it there" - Cecil Selig
Friday, January 21, 2011
Back on Track
I'm not fully sure how much damage the Niagara Falls weekend did, but suffice to say I know it was not pretty. I will never regret my decision to go and tear the place up, but after all the work I did this week, it does make me think about where I would be if.....
Training has been going great. I went to the gym on Tues, Wed, and early Friday morning - sidebar; what a freaking gong-show at 6:30 am!! I've never been there that early before but the clientele is a whole other world of human being - to begin the long process of convincing myself that being on a treadmill for an hour can be fun...it's not!!
After walking over 5K on Tuesday I prepared myself for the same on Wednesday. After about 35 minutes, I began to feel a familiar rumble. I had hoped this feeling would pass and decided to press on. At the 43 minute mark I knew we were reaching the point of no return and concluded that while 5K would be awesome, the embarrassment of staying even a few minutes longer would kill the joy of reaching that milestone. So sheepishly I made my way down the stairs and lived to fight another day. And fight I did, as this morning I again surpassed the 5 km mark and dropped my weight down to 338lbs.
I hear people talk all the time about waiting for something to big happen that will change their life. In my recent experience, I've come to realize that there are many little things you do, or can do, which determine your path. It's unrealistic to think that you will just wake up and be a changed person. It's small steps that lead to leaps. It's an exhausting process and there are so many opportunities to give up because the big picture is not in focus. When I sit down to write, it's in these times that I can reflect back on the past couple days and see the small steps I took. Conversely, I can see the small steps I didn't take and it's those steps that I miss that I strive to not miss again.
I'm so much better now at cutting myself some slack and realizing that it's better to do some than none at all. I always had the attitude that if I couldn't run like the guy on the treadmill beside me, then what's the point? Now my outlook is that I do everything that I can do, and tomorrow, hopefully, I can do a tiny bit more. It doesn't work like this everyday, and Lord knows it's been a work in progress since August, but the days it does work are great.....as long as the rumble doesn't come back!!
Training has been going great. I went to the gym on Tues, Wed, and early Friday morning - sidebar; what a freaking gong-show at 6:30 am!! I've never been there that early before but the clientele is a whole other world of human being - to begin the long process of convincing myself that being on a treadmill for an hour can be fun...it's not!!
After walking over 5K on Tuesday I prepared myself for the same on Wednesday. After about 35 minutes, I began to feel a familiar rumble. I had hoped this feeling would pass and decided to press on. At the 43 minute mark I knew we were reaching the point of no return and concluded that while 5K would be awesome, the embarrassment of staying even a few minutes longer would kill the joy of reaching that milestone. So sheepishly I made my way down the stairs and lived to fight another day. And fight I did, as this morning I again surpassed the 5 km mark and dropped my weight down to 338lbs.
I hear people talk all the time about waiting for something to big happen that will change their life. In my recent experience, I've come to realize that there are many little things you do, or can do, which determine your path. It's unrealistic to think that you will just wake up and be a changed person. It's small steps that lead to leaps. It's an exhausting process and there are so many opportunities to give up because the big picture is not in focus. When I sit down to write, it's in these times that I can reflect back on the past couple days and see the small steps I took. Conversely, I can see the small steps I didn't take and it's those steps that I miss that I strive to not miss again.
I'm so much better now at cutting myself some slack and realizing that it's better to do some than none at all. I always had the attitude that if I couldn't run like the guy on the treadmill beside me, then what's the point? Now my outlook is that I do everything that I can do, and tomorrow, hopefully, I can do a tiny bit more. It doesn't work like this everyday, and Lord knows it's been a work in progress since August, but the days it does work are great.....as long as the rumble doesn't come back!!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Training has Begun
As I mentioned last week, I was taking a minor detour from my journey and heading to Niagara Falls for a weekend with the fellas. I decided to go with no plan and just enjoy myself and deal with the consequences when I got back. I weighed myself before I left - 337.6lbs if you're keeping track - and whatever happened when I came back I would deal with that.
Let's just say I have some "dealing with" to do!! A couple of KFC buckets - quick sidebar..that stuff's gross!! I have no idea how I used to eat it, and don't get it twisted I ate the hell out of those buckets, but it does awful things to your body chemistry.....we'll stop there - and enough booze to sink a tanker made for a rough Sunday AND Monday. That's right, TWO-day hangover.
On the trip down to the rented house, my brother and I started talking about my quick-trigger decision to enter a 5K. He started talking to me about the best way to get ready for one and I sat, intently listening. It seems so rudimentary, and honestly I'm not sure why it was such a revelation to me, but he said I needed to get on the treadmill...AND WALK 5K!!! Is it possible I've become stupid as I've gotten up there in age?
He told me the best plan of action was to walk at a speed of around 3.3 and an incline of two for a couple of weeks to get the distance down. Most treadmills at the gym only let you go for 60 minutes and that speed would ensure that I could get 5 kms in before my time ran out. He said once I was used to that speed, that I should increase it by a little each time so I can get up to a faster time and perhaps start running. I thought, yeah, let's just make sure I don't die at the 3.3 for an hour first!!
I awoke today, hangover completely in the rear-view mirror and was off to the gym to give my new adventure a whirl. I found my iPod, after having to tear the house apart for a few minutes, and away I went. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say I went 3.19 miles in 58:21, which works out to 5.13 kms. I did it and I lived to tell about. There is nothing more exciting than doing things you could never imagine accomplishing. I look forward to breaking the next barrier....and the next one after that. Who's with me?!?!
Let's just say I have some "dealing with" to do!! A couple of KFC buckets - quick sidebar..that stuff's gross!! I have no idea how I used to eat it, and don't get it twisted I ate the hell out of those buckets, but it does awful things to your body chemistry.....we'll stop there - and enough booze to sink a tanker made for a rough Sunday AND Monday. That's right, TWO-day hangover.
On the trip down to the rented house, my brother and I started talking about my quick-trigger decision to enter a 5K. He started talking to me about the best way to get ready for one and I sat, intently listening. It seems so rudimentary, and honestly I'm not sure why it was such a revelation to me, but he said I needed to get on the treadmill...AND WALK 5K!!! Is it possible I've become stupid as I've gotten up there in age?
He told me the best plan of action was to walk at a speed of around 3.3 and an incline of two for a couple of weeks to get the distance down. Most treadmills at the gym only let you go for 60 minutes and that speed would ensure that I could get 5 kms in before my time ran out. He said once I was used to that speed, that I should increase it by a little each time so I can get up to a faster time and perhaps start running. I thought, yeah, let's just make sure I don't die at the 3.3 for an hour first!!
I awoke today, hangover completely in the rear-view mirror and was off to the gym to give my new adventure a whirl. I found my iPod, after having to tear the house apart for a few minutes, and away I went. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say I went 3.19 miles in 58:21, which works out to 5.13 kms. I did it and I lived to tell about. There is nothing more exciting than doing things you could never imagine accomplishing. I look forward to breaking the next barrier....and the next one after that. Who's with me?!?!
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
A Little Fun in the...Cold?
As most of you know, I missed two Guy's Weekends - technically only one, but going to the cottage and not having booze is considered a miss in my books!! - in the fall while I was on OptiFast. I didn't regret my decisions as I knew there would be many more in my future....like this upcoming weekend!!
The guys in my Fantasy Football League are renting a house in Niagara Falls for a couple of days and I couldn't be more excited. I have no illusions about what these two days will bring, and mostly, I'm not concerned. I can't drink as much as I used to - being a smaller guy just keeps getting better and better - so the all day drinking binges will be a thing of the past, but that too is probably a good thing.
No class for me today as I have not been feeling well the past couple of days and decided to stay home. I did go to the gym to sweat some stuff out and was able to jump on the scale there and am down a couple of lbs at 337. It feels good to be going in the right direction again, and even though this weekend will put a damper in next week's positive number, I think I will be able sleep.
I am in the process of thinking, THINKING, about entering some kind of 5k. I am working my way to that distance on the treadmill - hit about 3k today - and would love to hear any advice anyone has. I assume I can walk in these things - I'm not at the running stage yet - but I don't have a clue what to do. Look forward to hearing all your stories and gleaming some info for my next adventure.
The guys in my Fantasy Football League are renting a house in Niagara Falls for a couple of days and I couldn't be more excited. I have no illusions about what these two days will bring, and mostly, I'm not concerned. I can't drink as much as I used to - being a smaller guy just keeps getting better and better - so the all day drinking binges will be a thing of the past, but that too is probably a good thing.
No class for me today as I have not been feeling well the past couple of days and decided to stay home. I did go to the gym to sweat some stuff out and was able to jump on the scale there and am down a couple of lbs at 337. It feels good to be going in the right direction again, and even though this weekend will put a damper in next week's positive number, I think I will be able sleep.
I am in the process of thinking, THINKING, about entering some kind of 5k. I am working my way to that distance on the treadmill - hit about 3k today - and would love to hear any advice anyone has. I assume I can walk in these things - I'm not at the running stage yet - but I don't have a clue what to do. Look forward to hearing all your stories and gleaming some info for my next adventure.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Nothing to Say
When this whole journey began, it seemed like there was so much to talk about. It was easy, because everything was so new. There was 12 weeks of no food and all it's effects. There was the descending weight number and new realizations at the gym. Now I'm at a point when most of this stuff is old-hat. I found turkey pepperoni to use for mini-pizzas (less fat, cals, and most of the important numbers...and IT'S GOOD) but a whole blog entry on that will have you running to the next blog screaming "Russ has jumped the shark!!!"
I wanted to try and keep up with at least two entries per week and I thought today would be a great day to ask you guys what you're going to do for yourself this year. Most of you don't need to lose weight - all my regular lady readers are beautiful....yeah, I'm pandering!! - but there is something you want to do. I've always thought New Year's resolutions are lame and unrealistic. My belief is you need to be comfortable in your own skin before you can even think about changes you want to make.
Deciding to make a change is no easy task. I've gone to the gym twice this week and noticed quite a few more people in there than three weeks ago. I've always wanted to lose weight, even knew I had to lose it, but the motivation was pretty low. Whatever change you decide to tackle, understand what's involved. Many of those extra people I've seen at the gym will fall off, never to be seen again. Some of those people will stay, and their commitment will help them reach the goal they set-out for themselves.
I guess the question becomes, why did one person succeed, and the others will fail? Looking at my own situation, and my small measure of success, the only answer I can come up with is it had to come from within me. Whatever change I wanted to bring about, in this case weight-loss, it had to be because I want this change and it isn't for someone else. There will always be a nice by-product that my change will positively effect those around me, but if someone else was pushing me to do this, I would have failed.
One of the benifits of writing this blog has been different people confiding in me about their difficult journeys. I've had people tell me how they've tried and tried to lose weight, but it doesn't work for them. They want to join the program because it worked for me. The advice I try and give them is summed up above; there is no magic elixir. Whatever your change you want to make, I hope it's for the right reasons and you make sure you get the right info....but first, enjoy where you are now!!
I wanted to try and keep up with at least two entries per week and I thought today would be a great day to ask you guys what you're going to do for yourself this year. Most of you don't need to lose weight - all my regular lady readers are beautiful....yeah, I'm pandering!! - but there is something you want to do. I've always thought New Year's resolutions are lame and unrealistic. My belief is you need to be comfortable in your own skin before you can even think about changes you want to make.
Deciding to make a change is no easy task. I've gone to the gym twice this week and noticed quite a few more people in there than three weeks ago. I've always wanted to lose weight, even knew I had to lose it, but the motivation was pretty low. Whatever change you decide to tackle, understand what's involved. Many of those extra people I've seen at the gym will fall off, never to be seen again. Some of those people will stay, and their commitment will help them reach the goal they set-out for themselves.
I guess the question becomes, why did one person succeed, and the others will fail? Looking at my own situation, and my small measure of success, the only answer I can come up with is it had to come from within me. Whatever change I wanted to bring about, in this case weight-loss, it had to be because I want this change and it isn't for someone else. There will always be a nice by-product that my change will positively effect those around me, but if someone else was pushing me to do this, I would have failed.
One of the benifits of writing this blog has been different people confiding in me about their difficult journeys. I've had people tell me how they've tried and tried to lose weight, but it doesn't work for them. They want to join the program because it worked for me. The advice I try and give them is summed up above; there is no magic elixir. Whatever your change you want to make, I hope it's for the right reasons and you make sure you get the right info....but first, enjoy where you are now!!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
One-in-a-Row
Back to the grind, which means back to Tuesday classes at the Bariatric Clinic. They were closed last week and I didn't make it down there the week before, so it's been awhile since I was there. Before waking up today, I really feared going in, and in fact was going to skip. During the holidays I did my best Viking impersonation and ate everything in site. My new favourite was a caramel dip for apples which could also be called Poison in a Tupperware container. Cream cheese, caramel and Skor bars broken up because it wasn't fattening enough!!
When I woke up today, my plan was to go to my work appointment, then off to class. My appointment was canceled so in that moment I made the quick decision to head to the gym. I haven't been there in some time and was thankful that I remembered how to get there. I felt great after making what I felt was my first good choice in two weeks. A nice healthy breakfast and lunch and I was back on track.
On my way to the General, I went through the emotions that are involved in the realization that I was going on the scale and it would be awful. I was sure with my myriad of bad choices that I had gained at least six lbs. When I showed up our nutritionist Vanessa was waiting for us in the hall. She asked me how I did and I let loose with some serious verbal diarrhea. She stopped me before my head exploded and said let's hit the scale.
Off she went to get my chart, so I waited for her in our weigh-in room. I was anxious, but not to the point where I hated myself. When Vanessa came in I was ready to take my medicine, and on the scale I went. As the numbers starting appearing, I could barely look at it. Finally, after what felt like 15 minutes, I looked and saw the results....I lost a 1/2 lb.
Vanessa laughed at me..laughed!!! We sat down and she again asked me about my last couple of weeks. As it turns out I had used some of the things I was taught, some of the time. I have talked a lot about how my mindset has changed in the last four months, but I also realized how far I still have to go. I concentrated so much on my failures, that I never stopped to recognize my successes. While I'm that thrilled about some of the food choices - Poison in a Tupperware container not withstanding!! - I know that I made enough good ones to maintain my before Christmas weight, and that makes me happy....ish!!
When I woke up today, my plan was to go to my work appointment, then off to class. My appointment was canceled so in that moment I made the quick decision to head to the gym. I haven't been there in some time and was thankful that I remembered how to get there. I felt great after making what I felt was my first good choice in two weeks. A nice healthy breakfast and lunch and I was back on track.
On my way to the General, I went through the emotions that are involved in the realization that I was going on the scale and it would be awful. I was sure with my myriad of bad choices that I had gained at least six lbs. When I showed up our nutritionist Vanessa was waiting for us in the hall. She asked me how I did and I let loose with some serious verbal diarrhea. She stopped me before my head exploded and said let's hit the scale.
Off she went to get my chart, so I waited for her in our weigh-in room. I was anxious, but not to the point where I hated myself. When Vanessa came in I was ready to take my medicine, and on the scale I went. As the numbers starting appearing, I could barely look at it. Finally, after what felt like 15 minutes, I looked and saw the results....I lost a 1/2 lb.
Vanessa laughed at me..laughed!!! We sat down and she again asked me about my last couple of weeks. As it turns out I had used some of the things I was taught, some of the time. I have talked a lot about how my mindset has changed in the last four months, but I also realized how far I still have to go. I concentrated so much on my failures, that I never stopped to recognize my successes. While I'm that thrilled about some of the food choices - Poison in a Tupperware container not withstanding!! - I know that I made enough good ones to maintain my before Christmas weight, and that makes me happy....ish!!
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