Back on Track

I'm not fully sure how much damage the Niagara Falls weekend did, but suffice to say I know it was not pretty. I will never regret my decision to go and tear the place up, but after all the work I did this week, it does make me think about where I would be if.....

Training has been going great. I went to the gym on Tues, Wed, and early Friday morning - sidebar; what a freaking gong-show at 6:30 am!! I've never been there that early before but the clientele is a whole other world of human being - to begin the long process of convincing myself that being on a treadmill for an hour can be fun...it's not!!

After walking over 5K on Tuesday I prepared myself for the same on Wednesday. After about 35 minutes, I began to feel a familiar rumble. I had hoped this feeling would pass and decided to press on. At the 43 minute mark I knew we were reaching the point of no return and concluded that while 5K would be awesome, the embarrassment of staying even a few minutes longer would kill the joy of reaching that milestone. So sheepishly I made my way down the stairs and lived to fight another day. And fight I did, as this morning I again surpassed the 5 km mark and dropped my weight down to 338lbs.

I hear people talk all the time about waiting for something to big happen that will change their life. In my recent experience, I've come to realize that there are many little things you do, or can do, which determine your path. It's unrealistic to think that you will just wake up and be a changed person. It's small steps that lead to leaps. It's an exhausting process and there are so many opportunities to give up because the big picture is not in focus. When I sit down to write, it's in these times that I can reflect back on the past couple days and see the small steps I took. Conversely, I can see the small steps I didn't take and it's those steps that I miss that I strive to not miss again.

I'm so much better now at cutting myself some slack and realizing that it's better to do some than none at all. I always had the attitude that if I couldn't run like the guy on the treadmill beside me, then what's the point? Now my outlook is that I do everything that I can do, and tomorrow, hopefully, I can do a tiny bit more. It doesn't work like this everyday, and Lord knows it's been a work in progress since August, but the days it does work are great.....as long as the rumble doesn't come back!!